I dreamt that I was hanging out at the beach with coworkers in a gathering meant to induce bonding. I’m not sure how much bonding was going on, though, as I couldn’t even tell the identities of the coworkers who were with me. What office were they supposed to represent? Were these comrades from my current job at Syfy, or were they from past employers Sovereign Media or Marvel Comics? I couldn’t tell. As we milled around in the sand, it was one big faceless mob.
Then the boss stepped forward with a surprise. Two surprises, actually. The first surprise was that as soon as he started speaking, I recognized him. It was Steve Carell, in his role of the not-so-bright boss of The Office. (My coworkers remained anonymous after this big reveal, though, and did not suddenly turn into other Office cast members.) Surprise number two was his announcement that as an additional part of our supposed bonding, we were all about to go skydiving together.
My boss began climbing into his chute, and as he wrapped the straps around himself, he tripped and fell, bumping into a trash can in which a fire was going to keep us all warm. The can tipped over onto him, and his hair caught fire. No one else seemed to be doing anything as he screamed, but I scooped him up in my arms and, since we were at the beach, ran into the ocean to submerge him in water. (Though thinking about it now, awake, I’m not entirely sure that was such a good idea. What would salt water do to his burns? Maybe I should have covered him in sand instead.)
Suddenly, it’s months later. As a result of what happened at the beach—and I’m not sure whether this resulted as a reward for rescuing my boss or merely because an opportunity arose because my boss was dead or incapacitated as a result of the fire—I’m writing a massive issue of a Marvel comic in which the Hulk fights the Thing.
I’m doing it in a hotel room for some reason, my wife beside me. When I step into the hallway, there’s John Verpoorten, longtime Marvel Comics production manager (who’s long gone from the real world). He’s worried about my progress. Will I be able to get it done in time? I didn’t mind him asking, because it was his job to worry. I told him this would be easy for me, that I’d been reading stories of the Hulk fighting the Thing since I was a kid, so their rivalry was in my blood. It was going to be a snap.
I woke while continuing to reassure him in that hotel hallway, both of us smiling.
